Signs of Hope Amidst Frustration

Friends, peace be with you.

We’ve reached that point in the year I find very frustrating, the time of extreme cold and snowy winter weather. It does appear that it will get warmer this coming week and maybe melt off a good amount of the snow but the week of the 8th to the 12th was particularly frustrating for me. It’s partly my own fault because I feel like I need to go out and help with snow removal both because I feel like it’s my responsibility to make sure people can get to church safely if I decide to have Mass and because it’s really the only time I get to go outside when it’s this cold. Still, it is frustrating to go out at 5:00 am and clear a path to church only to turn around afterwards and see that the new snow and winds have undone all the work you have done.

Personally, the pique of frustration happened on Sunday the 14th when I awoke at 3:30 am shivering in my bed. At first, I thought that I was just being overly sensitive but the air coming out of the register felt colder than usual. I got out of bed and checked the thermostat and, sure enough, it was 50 degrees and blowing cold air. I flipped on my living room space heater, climbed back under my electric blanket, called our rectory HVAC repair person and left a message. I started to get those shivers that seem to come from the core of your body so I knew I wasn’t going to be able to fall back asleep. I got out of bed and got dressed in my cold weather, snow removal clothes. Eventually, I heard back from our HVAC specialist that he would be able to get to the church as soon as he could. By that point, I had rounded up a few extra space heaters and had shut off the furnace since it was just blowing cold air. I went outside to help to move the very compacted snow and managed to get the ramp and courtyard in pretty good shape while the other guys worked on the other doors and parish center. At that point, I was told that one of the church doors wouldn't stay unlocked and a door to the rectory wouldn’t come unlocked.

To make a short story long, it just felt like everything was falling apart. Ever had one of these days? I bet you have.

Eventually, I went up to the cold rectory and got ready for 8:00 Mass and something beautiful happened. I tried to share it with the people after 8:00 Mass but I’m sure I sounded kind of foggy, like I didn’t know what I was talking about. At 4:30 am, I had come into the church to get the space heater from the confessional and I tried to look out the south facing doors of the main entrance but they were completely covered with frost such that I couldn’t see out of them at all. While Mass was happening, I could visibly see the frost melting and the doors clearing. It probably sounds kind of corny but, for me, it was a sign from God that things are going to get better. It may feel now like everything is collapsing but, eventually, the frost melts and we can see clearly that everything is going to be alright. And it did get better. Randy fixed my furnace with the help of Jeff and Tony. The winds died down and it stopped snowing such that we were able to clear things off pretty well. And we’ll figure out the doors eventually.

I sometimes forget to look for the signs of hope amidst the frustrations of this world. This was a good reminder to do so.