Tough Questions & Great Resources

Friends, peace be with you.

Sometimes, when I’m hearing a person’s confession, the person asks if he or she can ask a question of a deeper, spiritual nature. She or he may even say something like, “There’s no one out there so can I ask you a question?” It happened more back when I was doing college ministry that a student would want to know at what point in becoming physically romantic with a girlfriend he has gone too far. I’d both have to admit that the question involved too long an explanation to do as part of the Sacrament of Reconciliation and wonder how he knew there was no one standing outside the closed, non-transparent confessional door impatiently waiting to go to confession. That is, for me, the challenge of hearing confessions. People who want to unburden themselves of their sins shouldn’t have to wait in a long line to do so. In my own personal experience, a line provides an open door for the evil one to insert his will into my life and convince me that I should put it off until a non-existent tomorrow. Yet, there are people who legitimately need advice about the sins they are struggling with or some other spiritual struggle they’re having. Without providing any details that would violate the seal of confession, I can tell you that there are times when I really have no choice but to spend a significant amount of time with a person to make sure the person doesn’t do something really bad. I feel bad for any people who may be waiting but I feel like it would be irresponsible for me not to take the time necessary to help this person.

This leads us, naturally, to ask, if you can’t ask questions during confession, when can you? I am available to answer questions outside the sacrament of reconciliation. It can be a kind of informal “spiritual direction” session or a simple five minutes at any other time throughout the week. I think sometimes people are hesitant to ask for an appointment to talk over spiritual struggles because they think I’m too busy to do this. However, these types of meetings are one of the main reasons I became a priest. I would also suggest Bishop Robert Barron, Fr. Mike Schmitz, Catholic News Agency and Catholic Answers for possible internet sources. If you have any questions about the answer you receive from these or other sources, feel free to email me the article and I’ll do my best to read it and respond.

I wish I could say that you could just ask me before or after Mass but, not only are there going to be confidentiality problems during these times, I am also not in a frame of mind to be able to answer them. Before Mass, I’m thinking about the details surrounding that particular liturgy that need to take place so I don’t forget to turn on the bright lights for the millionth time and after Mass I’m tired from trying to actually pray while anticipating these details. Plus, sadly, I often need time to ponder the question you’re asking.

Nonetheless, I really feel like these are important times and questions and, if I feel like I can help, I will make it a priority. I will also try to be honest if I don’t feel qualified to answer and whether I can provide an alternative answer. If you hear nothing else in this column, please know that I agree with Jesus that we should seek and knock and that the door will be open if we are open to him.

For information regarding specific resources mentioned above & more, please visit: www.stpatrickscr.org/catholic-resources.